Monday, May 24, 2010 Headbanging Hostess History

How exactly does one become The Headbanging Hostess? Well, let me tell you. It ain’t easy. It’s a long, painful process. Sort of.

I’ve always loved food. I eat every day! And, for some reason, the majority of my “day jobs” have been in the food business. “Day jobs” is theatre speak for the way you support yourself. Because even when you’re getting paid to perform, you’re not making a living wage unless you’re on Broadway.

I’ve worked at a frozen yogurt store, an ice cream place, a bakery, a sub shop, a restaurant – that was the worst! Being an actress everyone assumes you’re a server. And I avoided it for as long as humanly possible. But when the opportunity to make cash tips everyday came up I finally went for it. How bad can it be?

Fucking awful! That’s how bad.

I hated it!

And it wasn’t the people I worked with. I loved every single one of them - especially the ones who could barely speak English. When you can communicate with someone solely through laughter you’ve happened upon a very special relationship. Because if you don’t have laughter in your life what the fuck else is there?

Anyway. Two years I worked that friggin’ server job. I even became a trainer! And I honestly NEVER believed I was any good at it. My bosses thought I was, most of the customers thought I was, but I think they all must have been NUTS! Either that or the bar was set so friggin’ low I had to choice but to surpass it.

If you’ve never served a table consider yourself extremely lucky. If you have, you have my sympathy. Check out servernotservant.com for an eloquent blog on the subject. Patrick Maguire is fighting the good fight! YOU ROCK, PATRICK!!!

I sent Patrick a few of my “war stories” for the book he’s writing “I’m Your Server Not Your Servant.” Once it’s published I hope it becomes required reading.

Anyway! I quit that job in November. Thank goodness. I couldn’t have served one more table without experiencing one of those conniptions that Bill Cosby used to talk about.

What does this have to do with becoming The Headbanging Hostess?

Almost everything.

At home I’m in charge. I decide what to make, when to serve it, what to serve it with.

And my guests never complain. And that is golden.

My friends eat better here than they could at any restaurant. Why is that? Not because I’m a trained chef – because I’m not. It’s the love that tastes so good.

And you can’t buy that shit at a restaurant. Because it’s not for sale.

Bang on, my peeps!

-HH