Tuesday, November 30, 2010 Deck The Halls With Lots-O-Nothin'

My friend Linda came today and took a big box of Christmas decorations off my hands. Why, you ask? Because I'm not Christian and I don't want to celebrate Christmas anymore.

As a child I celebrated Christmas. You know, the whole "Santa Claus has nothing to do with the birth of that other guy" thing. I'm not saying it's a secular holiday...I'm typing it. At least that's what it was to me growing up. We weren't celebrating anyone's birth, we were celebrating the big fat guy coming down the chimney and leaving us gifts.

When I moved out to live with my then-boyfriend now-husband we didn't put up a tree or anything. He was a firefighter at the time and he'd always work on Christmas. My mom and I would go to my brothers and...celebrate Christmas. Even though he didn't have a chimney, it was obvious there was no Santa and we weren't celebrating anyone's birth. But...whatever.

Then, for a number of years, I was lucky enough to be involved in a Christmas show at The Spinning Wheel Inn in Redding, CT. I stage managed for a few years and was in the show for a few more - so Christmas became a big part of my life from October until the New Year. I'd go out for the tree, the gifts, the whole sha-bang. Even though, like I said, I wasn't celebrating anyone's birth.

During those years we hosted a few Christmas parties, and they were headbanging indeed. And if you take any advice from me this holiday season let this be it.

Make shit.

Ain't nothing like a homemade gift, I say. And these parties had homemade at the heart - homemade ornaments, to be exact.

I'd cover the table with newspaper, provide glue, glitter, pipe cleaners, felt, straws, corks, beads, sequins - you got the idea. And we'd all get trashed and make the best fucking ornaments you'll ever see. One year I had a giant penis atop my tree adorned with Satan Santas and spider Santas and Sam Adams Santas. Fantastic!

Ain't nothin' like seeing adults fight over glitter.

Some folks were more creative than others, some afraid to even try. But everyone would eventually find their way over to the table to make an ornament and, no matter what the friggin' thing ended up lookin' like, I was always thrilled to put it on my tree.

So, when I was packing it all up to give it to Linda, I put aside all the homemade ornaments and kept them. Why? Because I won't be putting them on a tree. I saved them all because I don't have the heart to give them away. Our friends made them for us - and even though I've given up the holiday - I'm keeping my friends.

And that's what it's all about.

Bang on, my peeps!



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